I know who I am.  I should… I’ve known myself for 55 years, haven’t I?

One would think so.  Oh yeah, there were those years in high school and college when, during a painful breakup (painful for who?) the only statement that could be made was “It’s not you, I’ve just got to FIND myself”. What a cop out!

It’s been said that a man is identified by many things, but most commonly, by his work. I never really thought that much about it.  My work in cardiology and ultrasound just happened to agree with me so much that I didn’t mind working long hours and weeks.  And so it’s been for over 30 years. I considered myself so lucky to have a job that I REALLY liked to go to everyday.

In the past 2 years, though, I have had the opportunity to step back and analyze many areas of life, especially focusing on my on life. (my prerogative, since I literally had a life altering experience). I was on medical disability for months before my transplant and have been ever since my transplant. Having worked practically every day of my life, I thought that time off would be awesome. And it would have been, but it went on TOO LONG. I don’t think I’ll like retirement.  In this time, I missed a lot of “stuff”.

Now, lest you think I am ungrateful for my second shot at life, I must tell you that I most certainly am not.  I am so happy to still be here.  I feel like I cheated the reaper at least twice in 2010.  What I missed is echocardiography, cardiology, medicine and the excitement and mental stimulation I get from that world.

Well, I’m back! I am working a small bit in marketing and sales with an old friend of mine (ultrasound systems and accessories) But more importantly, I am again active in my role in the Greater Houston Society of Echocardiography.  I have attended 3 days of lectures and conferences in the past month, and I feel like I never left.

I know who I am, again.  I am a Christian, husband, father, son, brother and friend.  I happen to also be a Cardiac Sonographer… for life.  And I am happy.

It’s good to know who you are….

Surgery was cancelled last night.  My liver enzymes are on the rise again (probably because I’m no longer taking the interferon/ribavirin cocktail). Numbers aren’t alarmingly high, but definitely higher than last testing. They plan to check bloodwork for next 2 Mondays, and see how it is trending, then add me back to the schedule.  I’m bummed, but I’m glad they are being cautious.

Besides, I still have a honey-do list to take care of BEFORE I am placed into the post op.limited activity column.

Cheers!

Well, it appears that I was right, that the pain and swelling I have had since Mar 2010 IS real and something that needs attention.

I have two (2) incisional hernias, and both will be repaired on Friday, 4/8. There may also be some abdominal adhesions that will need to be resected.  I will then be in the hospital for about 4 more days, and then will come home and start recuperation.

I may actually get to living “normally” again.

So prayers go out to the surgical and medical team, and for me, Joey and Evan.  I’ll update after surgery…

mwa

My brother-in -law is here today, so we are cooking a southern feast… baby back ribs, potato salad, green salad and fellowship!  This is how weekends are supposed to be!

Its been a good week, although somewhat bittersweet. On Tuesday, my Mom left the family homestead to move into her digs at my brother’s house.  Stephen and Mary, thank you so much for your generousity, and the love you show for our mother. I went to the old place on Sunday night, and spent a couple of days with Mom and she seems to be ready to go.  The house is BIG and with just her living there, is quite emmpty.  The house is for sale now and the proceeds will go far to settle affairs and still have some left over for living expenses. All will be well…

I have an appointment with the surgeons tomorrow to determine if we can repair this incisional hernia.  If that can happen, the last issue with my transplant will be resolved, and I should enter a normal lifestyle, again.

So that’s what I pray for tonight… that the surgeons have the wisdom and courage to make the call and do the right thing.

More later.